Art

5 best places to toss your cookies in HFX

5 best places to toss your cookies in HFX
written by Chronically Horid
March 17, 2016 11:04 pm

Sometimes, you just got to toss your cookies.

[Image of tossing cookies]

No, not that type of tossing. The other type.

It might be after a long night at Cheers. It might be the result of eating some bad donair. Who knows? Who cares (I certainly do not). But you just need to hurl. Where’s best to do this in our fair city of Halifax?

 

1)         Pizza Corner

Pizza Corner has a delightful arrangement for you – a (the?) Pizza place (Sicilian), a Donair joint (Johnny K’s Authentic Donairs), and a Fro-Yo place (Yeh!) – with the 4th corner left free for puking. Pick your poison, you can choose what it is you want to throw up – and then go back for seconds.

 

2)         Howe Hall

Where else would be better? You sleep there, you study there, you eat there, you [do not] drink there, you copulate. Make it a hat trick.

 

 

3)         Off a Halifax Pier

On the 96th day we sailed again, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! /

When a drunken mob we fell in line /

With our gravied poutines we made to dine /

God damn them all! /

I was told we’d cruise the streets for Haligonian gold /

We’d strike no fights-show no fears /

Now I’m a broken man on a Halifax pier /

Filled with the last of this night’s beer…

 

4)         On Halifax Transit

The bus, gently gliding you from the downtown as you wistfully stare off, leaving Barrington, leaving Spring Garden.

*Bump*

And there you go, leaving a sign of your adventures that night on the bus. I’d make haste, before the driver catches you.

 

5)         Your home, after the fact

Sometimes, it’s just that night. Everything has gone terrible, and you need that bottle of Grand Pre wine and Pistachio Ice cream. Where better than to throw up? Just make sure that you’re roommates are about, in case you miss – just be sure to reciprocate.

 

 

[Perhaps have a statement at the end saying that the Gazette does not condone throwing up in a manner which brings about issues to others?]