Sobey It

Moral philosophy is hard, but I know that cutting off a starving homie’s hand for stealing bread is royally fricked up. Prices are rapidly inflating, homelessness is rising and vibes are generally horrendous across the country. Unless you’re a shareholder in a major grocery chain. 

Loblaw reported over $500 million in profit in just the second quarter of this year. That’s awesome for them. Unfortunately, most of us are not Loblaw shareholders. If only some bright young Canadian could rip off Florida (yes, the Florida men have us beat on this one) and come up with a 21st century, competitive cooperatively owned grocery store. 

Publix is a pillar of the community in Florida, the only place I can think of where people take great pride in their grocery store. Loblaws has somehow made Florida an appealing place to live.

What is to be done?

Never mind the enlightened Floridians, we got our own problems in this god-forsaken hurricane magnet we call Nova Scotia. What is to be done?

A little steak can go a long way. A stir fry is a great dish to meal prep with and rice is a superfood. Great combo. For legal reasons I am now officially reminding students that stealing can land you in court, and that there are big fines.

To their credit, some of the grocery chains have been enacting policies that keep prices even. Honestly, that is a refreshing bit of good corporate citizenship..

Of course, the question that follows is why is everything else so bloody expensive when No Name can stay relatively cheap. Yes, No Name has long been a generous gift extended to temporarily embarrassed millionaires. If I was literate I’m sure I could find a million and one studies that point to the negative health impacts of food insecurity and the necessity of affordable groceries, alas, I can’t read. 

Stealing from your community is wrong, stealing from a company that is insured is less bad. The holidays are nearly upon us and there is still time to acquire a small fortune worth of turkey (not necessarily stolen, just tactically acquired). Buy the stuffing, potatoes and veggies, all delicious No Name products. There’s a line to these things. 

Everyone deserves a bit of gravy

If all Dalhousie University students start robbing Atlantic Superstore blind, insurance premiums would go up and we’ll be in real trouble. In my mind, buying your staples is righteous, but everyone deserves a bit of gravy. Be cautious and careful, buy what you can afford and if you’re feeling bold you could hypothetically rob yourself a little something special. 

Anyone who has ever worked retail security will tell you that the only organism suited for that job is a zombie. Its security theatre, these security guards aren’t superspies, they’re just trying to pay rent. If enough turkeys go missing some clever suit will hopefully figure out that they are priced too high. 

Refusing to vote in an election is often a tactic used to demonstrate a dissatisfaction in a regime, refusing to buy demonstrates a dissatisfaction in a business. By refusing to vote with our dollars, we can amplify our collective voices.

For Kant’s sake, I want to be able to afford meat every once in a while. I have gotten way too fucking good at cooking rice and beans.