That three-letter word: V-Day fun

Celebrate Valentine’s Day your own way. (Photo by Chris Parent)

My mother wasn’t impressed when I told her I’d landed myself a sex column. “Why sex?” she asked. “Why not something nice, like relationships?”

We all know relationships aren’t always nice, but in honour of Valentine’s Day, I should say they have their shining moments—and a lot of those happen in the bedroom.

Whether you’ve been with your significant other for two months or two years, whether V-Day is dreaded or taken super-seriously (ha!), it should nonetheless be about taking a day to make each other feel good.

For one pair this could mean calling in sick to work to stay in bed together all day (wink, wink), and for another this could mean dinner, a movie and a bouquet of roses. Each relationship is as unique as the people who make it up, so there should never be a set “formula” for things like Valentine’s Day. (Except for buying lingerie—think way ahead and hit the Boxing Day sales!)

While specialty shops and websites will probably try to sell you on the idea of sexy but expensive games, I’m a firm believer that good lovers can make their own fun. (Disclaimer: I have bought some of these sexy games and yes, they are worth it—but only if you have the money to spare.)

Rather than buying sex dice, it’s just ask easy to take regular six-sided dice and assign an action (such as licking, kissing or sucking) and a body part (nipples, lips, ear) to each number.

Another fun and easy game is the one I’ve included here: just cut out these strips, toss them into a hat, and have fun taking turns driving each-other wild. (To make this easier, decide before you begin who’s going to be “partner A” and “partner B.” For the wildcards, remember your partner need only do what you want them to if they’re comfortably consenting to it.)

2-MINUTE MAKE-OUT

1-MINUTE STRIPTEASE

PARTNER A GIVES PARTNER B ORAL

PARTNER B GIVES PARTNER A ORAL

5-MINUTE TEASE

PARTNER A RECEIVES BACKRUB

PARTNER B RECEIVES BACKRUB

WILDCARD: PARTNER A REQUESTS

WILDCARD: PARTNER B REQUESTS

Even if you have no lover to play with this Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself. Hell, last year my friend and I got McDonald’s milkshakes and watched Whose Line is it Anyway—and it was great.

Although it’s traditionally a “couples” thing, Valentine’s Day is a chance to spread your love to whoever you please, however you please—so please, take it.