The truth about catcalling

Boy, oh boy, do I love to walk down the street and hear a chorus of catcalls after me. Honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it! How do you know exactly what to say to make every woman feel awesome about herself? It’s truly a gift you have.

But I’m just always at a loss for words when it happens. Do I turn and throw myself at you? Am I supposed to just suddenly give you all my attention? Most women don’t know what to do. That’s why we respond in “anger.”

Like that old primary teaching, if we’re mean it means we like you. Obviously that’s what’s happening. So please, keep up the good work! And if you’ve read all the way to here actually believing my sincerity, please get a reality check and a lesson in sarcasm ASAP.

There is no way in hell any woman in her right mind would ever appreciate it. So what do you honestly think you’re doing? Some women have been trained to take these as compliments, and maybe that’s how you see them to make yourself feel justified, but the honest truth is that they are insulting beyond your imagination. And the worst part of all of it is that it is inescapable.

Catcalling is a global occurrence. So even when we go for a vacation, catcalls are still thrown at us. And no, even though you are speaking a different language than my first does not make it justifiable because believe me, we understand the gist of it. Want to know why we understand what you’re saying even if we don’t know your language? Cause they all sound the same. Your catcall is not original. It’s exactly the same as every catcall I got back home. And its sad because after you say it, and all your friends laugh or whistle, you’re all deluded to the idea that you are the king of this game.

But really, you’re just another peasant. The king of this entire game is the guy that doesn’t catcall. The guy that holds the door, pays for your food, and isn’t just trying to get into our pants. So all you guys out there who catcall and wonder why you still don’t have a girl, I’ll give you a small bit advice. Make sure to take notes.

Ready?

Actually compliment a girl. Ask her out on a date. Buy her dinner and bring her flowers. And for the love of God, please(!), don’t call her out on the street in front of all your friends to make yourself look big. Please.