Opinions

Good things come to those who wait

The benefits of waiting to be physically intimate with your partner

written by Qi Chen
October 3, 2016 12:03 am

Do you ever feel that your relationship with your partner is moving too quickly, or is beyond your emotional and physical comfort zone? Delayed gratification- a term for waiting to have sex – is a controversial issue when it comes to dating and partnerships. Oftentimes, people rush into having sex with their partners without taking into serious consideration the emotional aspect of sharing that intimacy.

I strongly believe that we should respect our bodies and ourselves! If we are going to be physically intimate with someone, wouldn’t we want to share that part of ourselves with someone that cherishes us and makes a commitment to the relationship?

Sex is not just about the pleasure; there is also the emotional aspect of sharing that intimacy with someone. When we share our bodies with another person, we can become vulnerable. That vulnerability can elicit emotional attachment towards our sexual partners, and when those feelings of attachment are not reciprocated it can lead to hurt and rejection. In many circumstances, people rush into having sex with someone in fear of rejection. They may think, “If I don’t sleep with them, then they are not going to want to date me.”

Having good communication and emotional connections are key elements to a strong and healthy relationship, and it takes time to develop those elements. In order to build a strong connection with your partner, take the time to know their personalities, interests and passions. Getting physical with them too quickly could cloud your judgment of their character.

Communicate your standards and what you are comfortable with, and do not push anything beyond your comfort level. Both parties should have a clear idea of where the relationship is heading and respect one another’s boundaries.

In a tech-savvy world, driven by social media, we are accustomed to instant gratification. Waiting and anticipation can be pleasurable, and it can allow us to take the time to develop that emotional connection and commitment to our partners, which will add to the eventual physical joy.

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