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HomeSportsBen’s Ten: Fancave Formula

Ben’s Ten: Fancave Formula

rsz_bensten_pressImagine, if you will, a part of your home that is a sanctuary of sport, a dimension of sound, sight and whatever Don Cherry is wearing that evening. For those who truly believe—and truly commit—any room in your house can be solely devoted to the wide world of sports.

With apologies to Mr. Serling, such visions and ideas can come to fruition outside of the Twilight Zone. With a bit of planning and permission from your significant other, you can have your very own fancave.

So once you get permission, fill your to-do list with these 10 essentials to create what will be the focal point of your home and the envy of your neighbourinos.


1. Space – You’re going to need a decent amount of room to fully realize your dream fancave and have adequate room for friends and family. For one-person accommodations, see “Batcave, The” or “Fortress of Solitude, The” in your encyclopedia.


2. Furniture – A couch is essential, plus a vintage stadium seat on display and a solo chair to make sure your one friend who gets too into the games has some room to be nervous without making everyone else feel awkward.


3. Beverages – Glass bottles of pop are a must, along with whatever choice of beer correlates to the game being watched (i.e. Sam Adams for Red Sox games). Bonus points for an R2D2 fridge, because jocks can be nerds too.


4. Snacks – Keep your pantry stocked with extra chips and dip, have enough noshables to send people home with mini hotdogs for tomorrow and make sure the fancave is situated within 30 steps of the front door. Otherwise, the choice between pizza and missing sports history comes into play.

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5. Proper climate control – No one wants to schvitz or shiver while watching the game, so keep your guests comfortable and they’ll never bail on you to catch a game live, ever. Plus, you can laugh at those fools who mortgaged their houses to freeze at the Super Bowl in New Jersey.


6. Décor – Memorabilia and artwork pertaining to your favourite teams should adorn your walls. Jerseys, game-used equipment, bobbleheads and signed photos are all great, but make sure to have one piece that’s truly unique, like an unopened box of “Flutie Flakes” or Howard Cosell’s toupee.


7. In-game entertainment – Eventually there will be a lull in the game, so have something like darts, bubble hockey or a pinball machine to keep the spirit of competition alive. For kids of all ages, mini-sticks and, sigh, a video game console work too.

8.Robot butler

8. A robot butler – Just like the one in Rocky IV. Paulie not included, but I hear Burt Young needs work, so open your window and yell “Yo!”


9. A television – Did I go this long without mentioning a TV? Ruh-roh! Anyway, get a TV and some form of sports package to watch any and every game, match, bonspiel, derby and international conglomerate-sponsored college bowl.


10. Cleaning supplies – This place isn’t going to clean itself, so be a responsible host, break out the Lemon Pledge and guilt your house guests into chipping in.

Benjamin Blum
Benjamin Blum
A lifelong sports fan, Benjamin Blum entered the world of journalism after suffering a concussion playing rugby for the University of King’s College. From that moment, his twin passions for writing and sports motivated the Thornhill, Ont. native to give this journalism thing a try. Having been an athlete, coach and fan for many years, Ben brings his diverse knowledge of sports along with a witty sense of humour to the sports section. Ben was Sports Editor of the Gazette for Volume 146.

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