Arts & Culture

Marvel announced its newest line up yesterday in a press conference – you won’t believe what happened!

written by Chronically Horid
March 17, 2016 11:07 pm

Marvel pulled off a Beyoncé this year, releasing their 20-year line up way ahead of the Comic Con holiday weekend as they had previously planned- some suspect it was a DC spy or an intern who foolishly wanted to do something for the fans of the blockbuster franchise.

New releases include the much anticipated reboot of the Hulk, the 30th installment of the Iron Man series, and a prequel to “Star Lord: The Prequel” (The title, we are told, is still in the works).

The most controversial film in the line up is 2065 reboot of Spider Man. Hardcore Fans have expressed outrage at the thought of changing the classic late 90’s/early 2000’s New York high school setting for something more applicable to today’s time.

Cryogenically Frozen President of the Marvel Empire Kevin Fergie stepped out from Marvel’s super-secret hidden compound somewhere in the island of California to make the official press release, but failed, as he has for the last twenty years, to mention anything concerning the rumored Black Widow holo-film, or why his films still feature such inequality between female and male heroes.