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This Movember, my vag

Pubic hair. It spouts out your butt crack. It pokes through your underwear. It sprinkles down your thighs. Maybe it does all of these things, maybe it does none.  

Pubic hair doesn’t care; it grows wild and untamed. 

This is the truth and there is nothing wrong with it. Pubic hair is a natural part of human genitalia.  

Why don’t we accept this truth when it comes to women? 

We’ve all heard the standard hairy pussy hate: “Maybe she hasn’t showered in a while, or she’s just lazy,” “Her vagina probably smells, stay away,” “Maybe she’s a hippie or a virgin or just an all-around weirdo.” 

How about, she’s just an average human. Humans grow hair, as all mammals do. 

The glorious locks that decorate those delicate folds are not unclean or useless. The utility of pubic hair has kept them around through eons of evolution. The hairs protect and keep warm. They are vagina lashes. No false stick-ons needed. 

A hairy vagina is almost never seen in porn, and when it is, the title of the video probably includes “massive bush.” Having pubic hair is somehow a fetish – outside of the norm. A google image search of “vagina” brings up mostly medical diagrams, all of which are either completely hairless, or feature a thin, neatly trimmed strip forming a perfect border. 

Why is a smooth vag seen as the typical and ideal, when we all know this isn’t what vaginas naturally look like? 

And yes, specifically female pubic hair. 

No one is praising male pubic hair for being the epitome of silky-smooth locks. Pubic hair is, well, pubic. It isn’t exactly the most camera-ready of regions. But when it comes to men, there seems to be an acceptance that pubic hair is what it is. It may not always be pretty, but it’s here to stay. Men are not ridiculed or judged for having hairy genitalia. 

Refusing to go down on a woman because she’s unshaved is a commonly heard excuse, yet we don’t often find women rejecting men’s hairy junk. 

Maybe you’re tempted to bring up ‘practical considerations.’ 

“It’s hard to see all the parts,” or “Hair gets in my mouth,” they say.  

When it comes to women, their anatomy is the problem. Going down on women is “too difficult” or “tiring.” Their physical bodies to complicated to take the time to figure out. Women are expected to make things as “easy” for men as possible. Often that means removing pubic hair. No matter how much time, effort and pain may be involved.  

Eating hairy pussy is like making out with a bearded man. Yet, people seem a lot less bothered by the latter. 

When it comes to men, their anatomy is accepted fact, and women are expected to adjust. Consider this: a blowjob is considered a hookup. A man sitting motionless while a woman sheds sweat, tears and spit only to be rewarded with some salty gunk in the mouth and a meek “thanks babe.” Any man who claims going down on a hairy woman is “too much work” ought to reflect on the times a woman has taken a dick down her airway for little or no reciprocation. 

Of course, real life doesn’t play out in these blunt terms. Most women aren’t sitting in the tub, razor and shaving cream in hand, thinking “Gosh darn the patriarchy forcing me to conform to men’s unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies.”  

Maybe it’s a weekly routine, or a pampering ritual. Maybe you don’t like the feel of hair, or it’s something special for date night. All valid. 

Blowjobs aren’t all bad either. Maybe it’s a form of attention and care for your partner. Maybe it makes you feel sexy and dominant. Maybe you are really into this guy, and frick, this hookup is hot as hell. 

The point is, women should not feel less sexy because of their hair. Women should not feel as though they are subjecting men to labour when asking for head. 

Yet this is the consequence of men’s attitudes. 

It’s not unreasonable for women to expect a fair share of oral regardless of the hairy situation. Men who avoid hairy vag ought to reflect on their flimsy excuses. Some hair in your mouth won’t kill you. A dick down your throat might.


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