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Readers, take note

A ghost writer would be an excellent Christmas gift (photo by Adele Van Wyk)
A ghost writer would be an excellent Christmas gift (photo by Adele Van Wyk)

Yes, it is only November 22. Admittedly, Christmas/the holiday season doesn’t technically start for at least a couple weeks. But we at the Gazette are holiday-positive! We celebrate the Christmas creep! We embrace it! Which is why you’re getting my holiday wish list WELL in advance of any actual holidays. You’re welcome.

A funding grant from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC)

Undergrad cost me a boatload of blood, sweat and tears, and now I’m opting to do it all again, except at masters-level standards. I figure the least the universe could do is pay me for it this time around. Especially since, given this job market, we’re all probably going to end up in grad school at some point anyways.

A handful of round- trip plane tickets to Toronto

You know what sucks? Long-distance relationships. By sheer dedication/love for my partner, and an apparent zeal for punishment, I am making it through this year. But sometimes, sexting texting doesn’t cut it. This is where your generous gift comes in.

Hermione Granger’s time turner

Can someone please explain to me how we’re midway through November? I think I’ve only gotten one month’s worth of decent sleep out of three. I really feel like this device would help me keep up with school/writing/life a lot better. And while you’re in the wizarding world, if you could also grab me…

A pensieve

… that would be great. And maybe some Filibuster Fireworks. And Butterbeer. So much Butterbeer.

Funding for academic acquisitions at the Killam

Oh, nevermind—they got that when we all paid our tuition in September.

Anti-rape wear

I really feel like the best way to solve the fact that people rape other people is by making the potential victims wear vagina armour. The current product apparently ignores the fact that men and people with disabilities also get raped too, but here’s hoping they come up with a line for those and other excluded demographics before Christmas.

A ghost writer

Celebrities do it! It can’t be plagiarism!

Tons of snow

I love Nova Scotia, but I think Ontario takes the cake on the snow front. They just get a lot more of it. And there are so many different ways to move through it (ski/snowshoe/sled/Ski Doo)! It’s very exciting.

A puggle

Have you SEEN those dogs??? They are the cutest little snuggle muffins! Solid and short and fat like a pug, but not quite as wrinkly (that’s the beagle)! I think everything would be amazing all the time if there was a puggle present.

A holiday feast

Where I could sit down with all my friends and family, and just be thankful for the people who make this world super awesome. And not have to cook.

Samantha Elmsley
Samantha Elmsley
Samantha was Opinions Editor of the Gazette for Volumes 145 and 146.

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