Murderball

By Kim Keitner, Sports Contributor

The gymnasium floor echoes around the sound of 14 rumbling wheels. Several voices jockey for attention. “Over here! Pass it to Steven! Go for the corner! Cover Gordie!” But Gordie, cradling the ball in one arm and spinning with his free hand, finds an opening and wheels across the marked blue line to the cheers of his teammates.
Off the court, everything the self-proclaimed “quads” do is dictated by what they cannot do – walk. In Gordie’s world routine is paramount; being slow, a side effect. But here in this gymnasium he maneuvers his wheelchair expertly and it moves almost gracefully across the synthetic rubber floor. There’s nothing slow about Gordie as he and his teammates wheel back to the opposite side to start the game all over again. It’s impossible to remember whether Gordie’s team is up or down, no one here is keeping score. That is not the purpose of today. It’s the first practice of the season and it’s clear that the boys are just happy to be playing murderball again.
Gordie, Rob and Steven are the quads. Gordie throws a ball at Steven as he challenges his quad status, “Steven here’s practically para,” (meaning paraplegic), and jokingly implies that he’s been spoiled by his extra mobility. Steven, used to Gordie’s teasing, shrugs and catches the ball. Gordie had a diving accident and Steven was in a car accident when they were both just kids. Both of their accidents happened long enough ago that joking about it has become customary. Besides, razzing each other is what jocks do. They razz on the “ABs” too – the able-bodies. They also call them “walkies”. Rob’s brother Stevie, Charles and James are walkies. They come because they’re friends and family but also because murderball is fun.
Gordie says they’re not supposed to call it murderball anymore – something about scaring off potential players. The official name is “quad rugby,” though the name is about the only thing it has in common with the sport. Quad rugby is played with a small volleyball on a basketball-sized court with goal lines marked by cones. According to quadrugby.com, “the object of the game is to score a goal (one point) by crossing the goal line with possession of the ball while the opposing team is defending that goal.”
Each team has four players and those players’ functionality ratings, when combined, can be no higher than eight. When a quad is first injured, doctors and occupational therapists team up and assign him/her a number between 0.5 to 3.5. It’s a functionality rating based on several measures including hand dexterity, motor function and sensation.
Gordie has sensation in the chest and above and limited hand dexterity. The doctors gave him a one. He played for the Canada quad rugby team in 2006 and says keeping fit is what motivates him to play. The simple act of bending down to retrieve a dropped item can be complicated when you’re in a chair and it doesn’t help when you’ve got a gut hindering your way.
The boys play for two hours, only stopping once for water and twice when someone yells “equipment!” meaning something such as a loose wheel or a ripped glove needs fixing. They wear the gloves to protect their hands and wrists from chaffing against the wheels. They use gardening gloves, work gloves, sporting gloves – basically any glove that has a match and isn’t ripped to shreds.
On the court there is no mercy. It’s a full contact sport with chair-to-chair collisions, although no personal contact is allowed. Gordie laughs every time he crashes his chair into an opponent and eventually Jamie gets knocked so hard his chair flips over. Someone says, “It’s about time.”
These boys are not so delicate.
After the game the boys gather together to disassemble chairs, toss sweaty gloves in smelly bags and talk about how out of shape they are after a season off court. Just like any sport the physical activity pays off and it’s clear that the boys are feeling great. A new season is here and today the games have just begun.