The truth about the world of tribadism
Scissoring, or tribadism, is the sexual act often considered to be the main form in which lesbian or queer women have sex. It is the act of pressing or rubbing each other’s vaginas together by sliding between each other’s legs, thus making a pseudo-scissor shape.
We see it in the copious amounts of lesbian porn actually made for straight dudes, heck, even *The Real L Word* brought back scissoring in season two (not that I watch that show, or anything). So it seems to be the consensus – scissoring is the way that all those who enjoy bumping uglies do “it.”
Really? The idea of scissoring to me always seems a little bit funny. My question is: who are all these queer women scissoring all day and every day? Is it just a myth that is perpetuated by the mainstream to understand lesbian desire without the presence of a penis (how else can you have sex if there isn’t direct genital contact all the time)? Or is it the way that some queer gals get off with their partners without having to take turns?
I knew the answer to my own experience, which was a resounding ‘no I do not scissor’, but I thought I’d ask around to get a better sense of how people feel about this act.
My research was pretty shameful – I read some blogs, talked to all my awesome queer friends, and posted the question on Facebook (which started a pretty great thread of comments). The conclusion? Yes, most of the people I talked to have scissored. But this myth is not busted, folks! Most of the feedback I received was that while most had tried scissoring, or do it from time to time, it wasn’t actually as popular to do as it seemed to be to talk about. Most said that they had tried it, but in the words of one anonymous responder, “It’s more awkward than enjoyable for sure.” Another commenter mentioned suggesting scissoring to her partner while in the middle of things, which caused an outright giggle breakdown.
OK, so scissoring happens, but is awkward and funny? So what’s the big deal? It seems, yet again, that the media’s representation of lesbian/queer sexuality is slightly shaded with heterosexual expectations of how sex is supposed to be (you know, P in V kinda stuff). The Joy of Lesbian Sex says that tribadism is “typical of standard heterosexual mystification of what lesbians are and what they do, beginning with any attempt to use bodies for pleasure rather than for reproduction.” It seems to be hard for some people to imagine same-sex desire without the presence of a penis, or at least some kind of junk-on-junk contact.
That being said, it’s not that scissoring is necessarily bad, it just sounds like a whole lot of awkward positioning and effort to get either person off. But, like one of my respondents mentioned, “I don’t see why scissoring would do NOTHING for you (…) Come on, it’s still rubbing. It’s SOME form of stimulation.” And isn’t that the truth.
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