If you are a female in today’s society, and have ever been outside, chances are that you have probably been on the receiving end of what is known as catcalling. This phenomenon occurs when a boy sees a girl he thinks is (to keep it PG) “attractive” and feels the need to express himself in a loud and obnoxious way.
What I cannot comprehend, is why boys feel entitled to comment on a someone’s body in such a fashion. I have asked, and the answer I almost always receive is: “I’m just showing my appreciation, you should learn to take a compliment.” What those who make this argument fail to realize is that it is so incredibly wrong on.
The way this response works, is to attempt to flip the responsibility from the catcall-er to the catcall-ee. What they are doing with this is saying, “I am allowed to say what I would like about you in any capacity and if you don’t like it, then its your problem and you need to lighten up.” The thing about it is, I did not ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. It’s not my fault you decided to go out of your way to get my attention, I do not owe you anything.
By this same logic, you could walk up to someone on the street and give them a coffee and expect them to take it. But maybe this person doesn’t like coffee. They weren’t expecting you to give them a coffee. They didn’t ask for it. When they decline the offer, it would be very strange of you to become angry and try to justify your actions, because really, there is no justification. So stop trying it with “compliments.”
Why would I want your compliment anyway? I know how I look. I know the amount of effort (or lack thereof) I put into myself today. I don’t need someone else to justify it through the honking of a car horn or a whistle, because I am justified in the way I look simply by existing.
Now let’s talk about the outcome of catcalling. What do boys who engage in this practice expect to happen? Are they under the assumption that one expression of attraction is going to be enough to make us want to jump into bed with them?
If you’re a guy out there reading this, let me save you some time. What really happens in the brain of all the females I know is embarrassment at being called out, and then anger.
The embarrassment comes from a place of wondering whether you brought it upon yourself by dressing a certain way, or maybe making eye contact for a split second too long. This is never the case. Which is when the anger comes into play.
We are mad at ourselves for even entertaining the thought of asking for it, but more than that, we are angry at whoever made us feel that way. Because we were having a perfectly fine day before you came along and shoved your testosterone into it.
Women do not need your approval to feel good about themselves. We do not dress up or dress down in order to gain your attention, and we would love it if you kept your unsolicited thoughts to yourselves.
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