How are all these people getting together? … When everyone’s broke

In April of first year, I sat in a ball of stress on a couch in the Shirreff Hall lobby. Unlike the other students coming and going around me, I wasn’t nervous over exams, finding housing or our first year coming to a close. I was about to meet up with a guy and go on my first date in Halifax. 

Nathan asked me out to dinner, a move that shocked some of my friends. It was rare to be asked to do something as serious as dinner for a first date. They were used to coffee dates, friend-group hangouts or the classic “Wanna come to my room to watch a movie?” to only get — at most — halfway through. 

He took me to Antojos Tacos + Tequila in downtown Halifax. We had great food, drinks and a genuinely good time. 

When the waitress came to ask about the bill, I was about to start my first-date routine of offering to split — just to gauge their reactions.

Before I could begin my ritual, Nathan immediately asked for two separate bills. 

The waitress glanced at me and made fleeting eye contact. She looked surprised, and I was too. 

Maybe it’s my fault for not expecting to pay, but I didn’t know what to make of this awkward decision. Did he believe dates should be 50/50? Did he have a bad time and didn’t see this going anywhere? Or maybe he was just running low on cash?

Inflation and the cost of living crisis are hitting Canadians’ wallets, and university students certainly aren’t immune — overwhelmed with tuition fees, skyrocketing rent and student loan payments. 

When even a full cart of groceries seems like a splurge, dating has become just another financial stress. 

How are all these people getting together when everyone is broke?

The feeling that dating is more expensive than it used to be isn’t just in our heads.

In February 2025, BMO released its Real Financial Progress Index, a report on the finances of dating. It found that consumer prices are, on average, 17 per cent higher than they were four years ago, and food costs are now 22 per cent more expensive. 

This has forced people to cut back on extra costs, including dating. 

Fifty-six per cent of Canadians say they’ve planned fewer and/or less expensive dates and activities because of the rising cost of living, according to the BMO survey. Many even admitted to changing date plans or cancelling them completely to save money. 

You don’t have to be a statistician to realize fewer dates means fewer chances to get to know people and find meaningful relationships. Shifting time and money away from dating has even been linked to increasing this generation’s loneliness epidemic. 

The same report found Canadians spend an average of $173 on one date. What used to be considered a casual first date, like dinner and a movie, now seems to cost an arm and a leg. 

As a result, more casual activities like going for coffee or a hike have become popular first date options.

This adds a feeling of extravagance and pressure when traditional dates actually happen. Dinners out now feel like once-in-a-while special occasions that must be perfect. A disaster date not only results in a wasted evening, but also a waste of money. 

Nathan and I kept seeing each other for a few months before ending on bad terms. A year later, we became somewhat friends, and I brought up that first-date gaffe. He responded with suspicious disbelief and said he must’ve been broke. 

If that was true, I wish he’d said something. I would’ve been happy to find a cute and cheaper date idea, or I would’ve been prepared to split the bill. At least I wouldn’t have been left wondering why. 

I did wonder if that really was the case with Nathan because after we stopped seeing each other, I noticed a pattern. 

Our first dinner, we split the bill. Next time, when things were seemingly becoming more serious, he paid. The final time we had dinner, he had just told me a few days before that he realized he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but still wanted something casual. When the waiter came — surprise! — another awkward splitting-of-the-bill moment came along with him.

A rise in casual dates brings a rise in casual dating. 

The amount of effort someone invests in a date can also reflect how invested they are in you. A certain level of detachment can linger when there hasn’t been much money, time or effort invested into someone. 

If someone is only interested in casual activities and not a serious relationship, that can be great. Getting to know people is a fun part of dating, and even if it doesn’t result in a relationship, it could bring fun experiences and lasting friendships. It can also just be more practical in today’s economy.

But if a relationship starts with a casual vibe, it’s often easier for it to stay that way and get stuck in a grey situationship area. Then, when it ends, someone’s left wondering if they even dated at all. What seems like a casual low-commitment date to one person, could be an exciting first step in a relationship for the other. 

I’m not saying a meaningful date requires breaking the bank. In fact, when someone spends an extreme amount of money on a first date, it can sometimes come off as love-bombing and showboating. 

What is a meaningful investment is the amount of effort and thought put into an activity, like a picnic on Citadel Hill or cooking someone’s favourite food.

Suggesting a low-budget date can also be a good way to gauge who actually wants to spend time with you versus who wants a free night out. 

When it comes down to it, like with almost every aspect in dating, communication is key. 

If you get a couple of these casual dates in, have a conversation about why you’re on them. Only wanting something casual is fine, as long as it’s said early enough to avoid hurtful misinterpretations. If it is just about money, many agree it’s helpful to discuss that too. 

Eighty-eight per cent of Canadians find being able to discuss finances with partners as one of the most attractive financial traits — and who doesn’t want to seem more attractive? Around the same number of people also believe finances should be discussed in the early stages of a relationship. 

We’re in university — it’s rare to find partners flush with cash. So why not talk about it? 

With so much financial stress nowadays, the stress of relationship uncertainty doesn’t need to be added. Open, honest conversations also come with another upside: they don’t cost a thing.