How are all these people getting together… With Valentine’s Day around the corner?

Last year, I was more excited for Valentine’s Day than usual. 

It was the first year I had been seeing someone with Feb. 14 around the corner.

Draper — my situationship at the time — and I weren’t even exclusive, but we’d been seeing each other for 10 months, regularly having date nights. During the last one, he made a charcuterie board for us to enjoy with wine while watching a movie. 

If that’s not the perfect set-up for a romantic Valentine’s Day, I don’t know what is.

As the 14th crept closer, it felt like a big date on the calendar, circled in red pen and marked with exclamation marks. I was struggling with how to approach it. Should I bring it up, or leave it to him? Would he be freaked out at the mere mention of the day? Or was I silly to question that since we’d been seeing each other for so long, longer than some of my friends in actual relationships?

Turns out, all that worrying was a waste.

On Feb. 11, Draper ended things. Three days before Valentine’s Day. This time for good. 

With situationships and casual hookups ruling the dating world, Valentine’s Day serves as a checkpoint for the status of your “relationship.”

Partners who haven’t defined their relationship can feel added pressure around the holiday, with the question of whether to celebrate it becoming a looming source of awkwardness. For others, it’s a push to finally take the next step. It’s the day that makes-or-breaks relationships.

How are all these people getting together with Valentine’s Day around the corner?

There used to be two types of people on Valentine’s Day.

Those in relationships can’t wait for the day to arrive. I’ve watched coupled-up friends meticulously plan out the day and make their reservations. I’ve accompanied them to the store to buy flowers. I’ve helped them craft personalized gifts, full of hearts and inside jokes. 

My single friends watch these people with disgust. I’ve seen their eyes roll while walking through grocery stores displaying pink and red candy. I’ve heard scoffs when stores decorate with paper hearts. I’ve scrolled through memes they’ve sent about wanting to throw shoes at couples walking down the street. 

But there’s a new reaction emerging: confusion.

A quick Google search stringing together “Valentine’s,” “situationship” and a question mark brings up articles like, No, You Should Not Get Your Situationship a Valentine’s Day Gift; 6 Questions You Might Have About Spending V-Day With Your Situationship, Answered; and, one I think sums up this era, The Unique Hell of Being in a Situationship on Valentine’s Day.

Partners in already fragile relationships are nearly five times more likely to break up during the two weeks around Valentine’s Day than any other weeks during the calendar year, according to a 2004 study from George Mason University.

When Valentine’s Day comes around, and someone’s heart isn’t fully in it, there’s a good chance someone else’s will get broken. But just as easily, it can make someone realize they want to be with someone.

Valentine’s Day increased perceived relationship satisfaction among couples with low attachment avoidance — meaning those who strongly desire closeness to others — according to a 2014 University of Michigan study. Valentine’s Day gave them a romantic “boost,” enhancing how they view their relationships. 

The holiday has made friends of mine “hard launch” their relationships on Instagram, and others became official during special Valentine’s Day dinners. 

I’ve never received a bouquet of roses on Feb. 14. Having spent every Valentine’s Day alone, you’d think I’d be with the cynical part of the population who hate the holiday. But you’d be wrong. I will always love Valentine’s Day.

The holiday doesn’t have to be about the person you’re seeing on Feb. 14; it’s a celebration of all kinds of love.

Draper ended things close to the big day, but that didn’t stop my friend Kelsi from jumping into action. She quickly put together a Galentine’s night for the two of us. We pregamed with Valentine’s-themed drinks and had dinner at Boston Pizza, where we drank our weight in fishbowls. We then bar-hopped around downtown before ending the night at hers, eating poutine and watching Vanderpump Rules. 

Although I was in the midst of the worst heartbreak I’ve experienced, she pulled together a night of love that made me forget my sadness.

Galentine’s Day — a day celebrating female friendships — has become a cultural phenomenon. An OpenTable survey found that 37 per cent of respondents planned to celebrate it in 2025.

Women are choosing to celebrate their friendships, which are relationships I’ve found more fulfilling than any of the ones I’ve had with men. For me, Valentine’s Day has never been something you could only celebrate with a partner. 

When I was younger, my mom would surprise my sister and me with Valentine’s-themed gift baskets, establishing the holiday as one to celebrate every year, not just when I have a partner.

We have the other 364 days of the year to be cynical, so I choose to spend the holiday celebrating all types of love, romantic or not.