Samantha Chown, Arts Contributor
Grade: B
Warning: endless tears will occur.
The film opens during the present day with a young geologist named Adrian Helmsley, played by Chiwetel Ejiofor, on a trip to India to meet with an old friend and fellow scientist. They discover that solar bursts from the sun have created a new type of particle. These particles are heating up the earth’s core and causing the tectonic plates to shift, leading to massive destruction, giant tsunamis and – the end of the world!
The first chunk of the movie follows the events leading up to the year 2012: mainly a mass cover-up headed by the United States government. Things finally start to go downhill when John Cusack is introduced. He’s a little known writer on a camping trip with his two young kids. It’s now the year 2012. Yellowstone National Park erupts into volcanic mayhem and the destruction really begins. This is about an hour into the film.
Cusack hustles his kids, his hot ex-wife Amanda Peet and her boyfriend Tom McCarthy out of California, while avoiding the collapse of the entire freeway onto his limo. Yup, he’s a limo driver and apparently those things can take turns really well. The group then heads to China to get on some arcs specially designed to withstand the coming apocalypse.
Not only is 2012 a tad unrealistic, it’s also a little too predictable. All the major landmarks in the States take a beating, ashes fall from the sky and somehow giant snow-covered mountains are always involved. And did I mention its way too long? It clocks in at over two and a half hours, so if you need to use the washroom, rest assured you won’t miss a thing.
That being said, 2012 is still emotionally charged and will leave you sobbing uncontrollably about every five minutes. Or you could just save time and money and tears: rent The Day After Tomorrow. Either way, you’re going to want to call your mom right after and tell her how much you love her. The end of the world can be a depressing thing.
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