A Student’s Survival Guide: Is your situationship worth it?

Modern romance is a labyrinth, and the situationship makes it even more complicated. Situationships are that weird, fun and sexy grey area between friendship and a relationship where emotions are high and labels are forgotten. 

But when your situationship says they like you but don’t want to commit to anything, it forces you to take a long, hard look at what you want out of the relationship, whatever you might currently be to each other.  

If you’ve heard any of these all too common phrases before, you, like me, may have found yourself in a situationship:

“I really like you but I’m not ready to date you.”

“I’m not over my last relationship yet, but we can keep this going for now.”

“I’m not in a good place to actually commit, just give me some time.”

Like a lot of twenty-somethings, I’ve been in a situationship or two that taught me to only date people who can give me what I’m looking for, which in my case is a committed relationship. I’ve decided that I will only allow myself to see someone if my prospective partner can commit early on. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are very healthy casual relationships out there, but based on my own situationship experiences and the ones of people I’ve known, I know that unhealthy ones are too common.

Consider the following…

If you’re in a situationship right now, I’d suggest asking yourself these three questions:

Do your moments of bliss in the situationship outweigh moments of confusion and doubt? 

Are you left feeling supported, or do you find yourself questioning the validity of your connection? 

Does this person genuinely care for your feelings, or are they possibly using you for a low-commitment fling?

If you answered no to any of these, it might be time to reconsider your situationship and reflect on how it makes you feel and will continue to make you feel in the long run. 

Ending a bad situationship is tough and can sometimes be quite emotional if you really like the person. 

How to end it

If you do decide to end your situationship, it’s crucial to remember to prioritize your own happiness and well-being above everything else when figuring out how to move forward. 

When ending it, be clear and direct about your reasons for doing so. Empathetically express why you no longer want to continue the situationship without blaming or criticizing the other person. 

Set healthy boundaries for yourself and the other person. For example, if you don’t want to continue being friends with them, clearly say that. 

This kind of ‘break up’ can be just as hurtful as a regular relationship, so practice self-care and lean on your friends for support when you need it. 

Don’t ignore your needs when it comes to choosing someone you want to be with. If you’re looking for commitment, there is someone out there who can healthily commit to you and hopefully fulfill you more in the long run.