How are all these people getting together … When everyone’s leaving?
Instead of trying long-distance, many would rather cut their losses, but that may be premature
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As I finish my fourth year in Halifax, summer means graduation and moving on.
When I was seeing Draper — a previous long-term situationship — he was in his last year. He always used graduation as an excuse for why he wouldn’t commitment, saying he couldn’t when he was leaving in a year.
It made sense at the time and got me thinking about how long university relationships can really last.
Halifax may just be a stop on the way to the rest of our lives. The majority of us won’t follow the same paths or end up in the same places. So why even begin relationships?
As the summer draws near, it will inevitably bring a lot of uncomfortable conversations.
How are all these people getting together when everyone’s leaving?
If you and your partner are approaching graduation and continuing to be in the same place, amazing!
However, if you’re headed to different places, then there are only two options: long distance or breaking up.
Many see breaking up as the path of least resistance, the fast-tracking of the inevitable.
A lot of my friends are going through this complicated phase as they near graduation. Some relationships have resigned themselves to ending things when they leave. Others aren’t even entertaining the idea of a relationship.
It’s practical, even if it seems bleak and unromantic.
When I was seeing Draper, it definitely seemed reasonable that our situationship would end when he graduated. At least until it proved easier said than done.
Yet, with even less time until his big day, Draper found it in himself to commit. Just with someone else.
It made me face the harsh reality that if people want to be with someone, logic will go out the window. No matter how unfeasible or impractical it is, people who want to be together will try to make it work.
Then comes the other option: long-distance relationships. But all I’ve ever heard about them is how terrible they are.
The feeling of loneliness from not physically being around your partner, miscommunications over phone calls and all-around frustrations.
But that’s just what I’ve heard.
In reality, the bad reputation long-distance gets may not be fully justified.
Christina Pérez, a contributing editor for Vogue, wrote for the magazine in 2025 that rates of satisfaction, commitment and trust in long-distance relationships are equal or higher to regular ones. She also says the distance can make people desire their partners more, in a classic “absence makes the heart grow fonder” sort of way.
A long-distance relationship can, ironically, bring people closer together — even if only emotionally.
Shared experiences can make people feel closer. Long-distance relationships can make couples more aware of communication, force them to identify and face issues head-on and invest extra effort into their relationship. Especially when both are working towards a common goal to “beat the odds.”
Sabrina Bendory, a relationship coach at Dating.com, told Vogue that this absence effect isn’t always a sure thing. She says a crucial factor in making long-distance work is an already strong foundation, where both people feel secure and have the same desire for where they want the relationship to go.
If you currently have a situationship you’re not fully invested in, long-distance may not be for you.
But I’d say if you’re in a relationship, or seeing someone you could commit to, don’t write it off so easily.
Call me sappy, but there’s something sweet about saying fuck it and trying to make it work, commendable even.
The only other option is giving up, less commendable.
And if it turns out that it’s not meant to be, you’ll find that out when it ends on its own terms.
Plus, if it does work, you and your partner will have a great story for the future.
Like when our grandparents used to talk about writing letters during times apart. Except instead of letters, ours will include the modern conveniences of phone calls and FaceTime.
As university ends, it doesn’t mean relationships have to. They don’t call it “the good ol’ college try” for nothing.
