At the ripe age of 20 years old, I still haven’t found my calling. The older I get, the more it seems like everyone around me is finding their niche in life. Whether it be through their program, hobbies or sports, somehow it just comes to them.
I’ve never felt as though I have a passion, and am starting to think that I might just never find one.
Searching for reasons
To me, a passion is something that drives you. Something that speaks to you, almost on a soulful level.
Maybe I am just putting too much pressure on the term. Every time I try something new, whether it be learning how to play the ukulele, taking a pottery class or painting, I go into it with the same mindset: I think that this will be the thing that will ignite my passion for the rest of my life. But time and time again I’m disappointed that it does not stick.
Maybe it’s because I don’t give things enough time. Or maybe it’s because I truly am meant to live a life without passion.
Expectations from the world
My existential crisis about the term passion stems from the fact it feels expected. When I tell people that I don’t have a passion, a shocked expression is painted on their face. It’s almost as if they pity me for not having one thing that consumes me.
For them, having a passion in life is the difference between a life of happiness and a life of misery. For me, finding a passion is about being able to answer the question: What is your life goal? without feeling embarrassed.
Working hard
Generally speaking, life consists of the hours from 9-5 and 5-9; daytime and evening. For most of us, the hours from 9-5 are taken up by school or work. As a student, I want to be passionate about those hours. I want to love my courses and degree so much that the interest outweighs the gruelling hours spent doing schoolwork.
Sadly, that is not my reality. Few things in my classes really capture my attention and, even when they do, it’s not enough to call it passion.
You might think that I just chose the wrong field, but I truly believe that I would feel the same towards any subject I am remotely interested in.
There seems to be an assumed link between passion and your ability to work hard. As though you must be passionate about a subject to want to work hard at it. While I agree with the idea that your drive can be heavily fueled by your passion, I think we need to place greater emphasis on the fact that there are various contributing factors that make someone “hard-working”. As someone who doesn’t feel passionate about my degree, I know that there are other things that can fuel your work ethic. This could come from fear of failure, life goals or accountability.
Normalizing a passionless life
In our society, there is a notion that one should pursue their passions. When you are confused about what to do with your life, people will always give the same advice: do something you are passionate about.
What I don’t understand is why there is such a pressure for interests to turn into passions.
There are many things that I enjoy doing but not enough for them to consume my life. Just because I like to cook doesn’t mean that I want to constantly discuss it or turn it into something more.
These expectations have led me to be quite confused on the topic overall. It’s not that I hate the idea of having a passion; the idea of loving something so much that you let it consume your life does sound appealing.
So, while I think that having a passion could be fulfilling, I also believe that we don’t need to shame people for not having one. My problem with passion is the emphasis that is placed upon it by society.
We should normalize having smaller level interests in a variety of different subjects. Life can be just as fulfilling when you are interested in things on a less extreme scale. Why is there an expectation for people to have one interest that tops every other interest they have?
Society needs to become more accepting of the fact that not everyone feels interest in the same way. For some, life could be just as enjoyable without having one overarching passion. Having many interests can be just as valuable and fulfilling as having a passion.
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